Vibes!

Since when did I grow scornful of the young? The moment I heard that I was going to be interviewed by a young chap, who was a country head by 32, my spirits drooped. This was a Brit who had moved to India to head 'Emerging Markets' for his company. I was already switching off mentally. First, I don't get along well with young interviewers. I like to believe that they feel 'threatened' by me somehow (am usually not this vain). And as a result, the vibes we both send out to each other aren't really the positive ones, despite a 'technically good interview'. Second, in my experience, these young chaps who suddenly become successful with a million pound annual salary to draw, loose their heads and start believing that they are better than rest of the world. So suddenly their ambition turns to proving so at every coming opportunity, be it in an interview. Third, they loose focus of the macro picture in pursuit of getting every detail correct and as a result they loose the main objective. Fourth, my inability to tolerate high headedness for too long brings out the sarcastic me (and ever since I have started living with the Brits, my sarcasm has turned only sharper) which even though leaves me with a bad 'brand name' but I couldn't care less as I would walk away extremely pleased and satisfied with myself. The older folks (40+ usually) on the other hand have moved beyond these ambitions of 'short term pride acquisitions'. They have seen it, been there and done that and as a result are more accomodating, willing to make allowances, collaborative and are really positive in approach, as if ' let's see if we can work together' and not 'let's see if you deserve to be hired'. They are naturally able to bring out the best in you and in fact they even make you feel important. Even a couple of years back I used to analyse my interview performances on the basis of the answers I had given. Now I judge them by the 'vibes'. And even before the interview is over, I know I have (or haven't) made it. As disaster followed after my interview with the young country head (the details of which can be a separate post altogether) and I came home happy and satisfied, especially pleased with myself for having concluded the conversation with 'Well, I wish you all the best in your search for a sales guy cum technical analyst cum fundamental analyst cum political scientist cum educationist with below market salary expectations and I am sure you will succeed in finding him!' The next day I received a linkedin invitation from him with a note saying 'Was I that intimidating?' Victory is sweet.

Am grown up

I spent the whole evening shedding tears on the sofa. By dinner, I had a blocked nose, a ghastly red swollen face.....and as I looked at myself in the mirror, I felt amused. I didn't know I could look comical. Anger followed grief. So I resorted to ruthless chopping of the left over half a cabbage,making sure that I was audible from the other room, where my husband was working on his laptop, carefully avoiding my mood. But I needed attention, consoling and I needed to hear those 'not so true' words. And so I kept doing my best, at what I was doing. Chopping loudly. As my anger hit the chopping board, I vindictively dreamt of all the revenge I could take in following interactions with my enemies. And I felt quite overjoyed at the prospect of the same. I realised my chopping had become slower and softer. This was not a good sign. Frustration followed anger. As I covered the burnt cabbage with the lid, I felt heavy. And I felt terribly homesick. And bitter. At everyone. The wind blew the window open.....the autumn wind in London is usually chilly and bitter....but strangely this was a sweet one....reminded me of home.....An old lady was walking , lone....a robin flew off....the girl in the window happily chatted on the phone....the wind brought in the aroma of delicious pasta....and once again I heard dad's voice.....the reassuring, confident voice.....the voice that could make me feel good even in the worst situations....'Yes, Dad...I'll be fine.'

'Dinner is ready. Coming, hubby?'

Way back into love...

"love lost...love found" ...that was Drew Barrymore in Music and Lyrics when she was composing "Way back into love"...my favourite song in the movie....I had almost given up on love when it found me...and I found you....as I looked back at the ring on my finger, my heart overflowed...it felt like a cup of hot chocolate overflowing with sweetness....and the world looked different.....beautiful....."thank you for coming to my life Nkem...."

A spoon full of sugar

Ronit, Riya, Rupak and myself were watching the IPL match yesterday. We were all supporting the Kolkata knightriders and the match was certainly gripping. Not that I am a cricket person, but yes, I enjoy watching matches that move fast and this was one of them. I was pleased with myself for having being able to come back home by 8. And I had plenty of other reasons to be happy about apart from the fact that I would be watching a match with friends after a long long time. One being, I knew what was behind the refrigerator. I had made paneer in the morning to go with parathas (the latter I did not make though). Now, what's so interesting about paneer? Well, I had made it and I was looking forward to the reaction of my friends when they taste it. It was paneer cooked in a tomato base and with lots of fresh green peas. And then there was ice cream! I had picked up a bottle of chocolate sauce on my way back home and the thought of it made me grin slightly which Ronit noticed. He gave me a broad grin and asked..."You in love?" Well, I certainly was! No doubt about it! I was in love with my life, the paneer , vanilla with hot chocolate sauce and Mccullum. And Mccullum hit his 3rd sixer in the same over. No one was watching the hot cheerleaders. It was Shah Rukh who did it all....
Dinner was as big a success as it was for Kolkattans. Riya has always been the ruthless types. Decided to call back her boss in Bangalore and tell him how sorry she was that Bangalore Royal Challengers lost the game! Her boss hated her for it! And next day was her appraisal! After my guests left, it was time for bed. I plugged in the headphones and slept to a gazal "chalo hato giridhari...kaahe maari pichkaari"....

back to brooding

I don't know WHY February has always been such a bad month for me....It is my birthday month, also Valentine's day month, also the month with the perfect weather(in Kolkata) and also a lazy month because you still have sometime for the financial year to end and to take a chill pill before you start off with Mad March....still February sucks....and am back to brooding....

14th Feb....well, I did receive flowers and cards and chocolates....so what? one dead end...

my birthday....well I just got older....and am just a few years away from 30! That's definitely depressing....though I have never had an age complex....in fact I have always wanted to look older than I am....because it has been quite annoying for me when the bus conductor used to say "bachcha naamche" when it was my turn to get down at my stop during college days...and I can never forget my fight with the examiner who thought I was a minor and wouldnt grant me a driving license....so I really dont mind looking my age or even older...

Home alone....I guess the main reason why feb went bad was because I spent a lot of time being alone....the travelling was a bit killing this time...even food was bad...

"Hope to meet you soon,sunshine..." I re read the message on the valentine card...I felt happy, skeptical and sad....all in that order...

And I recalled the Gita chapter that talks about giving up expectations....and I recalled Dale Carnegie's Law of averages and also 'accepting the worst' theory....

I picked up the latest estimates my ad agent had given me....

"Re build with worn out tools...

And you'll be a man my son!"

Girls are dumb

I have remained quite a feminist in school and college days...and have simply been in love with the age old debate "girls vs boys"....and trust me I was good at it !....I was from an all girls' school...(I have decided not to send my daughter to one of them)....then in college, the boy-girl ratio rose...you would find more girls in Arts stream, few in social sciences and next to nil in pure sciences..."So what? Girls are smarter and must have joined engineering colleges...", I told myself...but sadly the ratio is even sadder in engineering colleges ....and then B school... I admit I simply enjoyed the attention I got there owing to such a poor ratio...

"Women of geniuses are rare".....and I snapped the book shut...It was Madame Curie talking...a woman...a genius....and I recalled my experiences with my girl room mates...I really used to find them dumb...could never hold an intelligent conversation for long....well, I dont reject the possibilty of me being impatient with certain kinds of conversations....but I have enjoyed talking more with guys.....and then the TT room...I would probably be the only girl out there playing( though quite sloppy)....no denying but it's true...I have never had good girl company....I am still quite unwilling to generalise my statement...was I with the wrong company or Madame Curie is right?....and then I recall the case study I read....that had a remarkable observation...70% of IIMA women pass outs stop working after 2 years....

I have always believed that IQ is a function of EQ....and the irony is...women are considered more emotional than men! Now I am getting confused....let's take it step by step...

What does a high EQ mean?....more sensitivity...the ability to love someone easily....caring...etc...

So, ideally women are considered more sensitive....let me make a statement here with the fear of a strong repurcussion from my female readers....I dont think shedding easy tears is an act of sensitivity or being emotional...it is the outcome of not having an easy solution at hand....and to hit the bulls eye....I think 'so called emotional women' are 'conditionally emotional' or 'emotional by words and not action...' A guy will easily give up his own bed for a friend...a girl will cling on to her possessions...a guy hardly remembers the amount of money he has spent on a friend...a girl will make sure to balance it out!....so who has a higher EQ?

I still dont want to believe what I wrote...let me see if I can reverse this write up...dont bark at me ladies till then!

Up the value chain...

Looks like I cant get out of the "jargon mode" that I had picked up during MBA....my favourite word lately..."value"....and today while cracking the last sale, I knew I had to write this down....my customer had already finalised on two of my products....but I wasn't happy...she WANTED 2....I WANTED to sell one more....and a lot of talking did so....
"Value" is a beautiful word...reminds me of Mastercard's ad...."a tour at Dysneyland...100 dollars...the smile on your children's face...priceless..." Moral of the story is...the best way to sell is to COMMUNICATE the VALUE of your product....when the customer tends to negotiate on the price...yes, talking is necessary...Most salesmen in established organizations, I have seen, concentrate more on "showing" skills...or presentation skills....which is absolutely necessary I agree....but something like this works better..."
"This design is priced higher because it is purely a labour based product and one piece requires 3 to 4 months for 3 weavers to weave it together....and sadly these weavers are quite deprived in our country....and then of course highlight on the quality aspects...." Giving your customer the knowledge of your product also inculcates a pride in her when she actually uses it....she KNOWS about the value of what she owns....